finally prelim 1 is over. shud be feeling ecstatic yet not able to put on the smile that i used to have. perhap taking back result is the scariest moment what more this time straight 1 day after prelim...dont feel like attending sch eventually i can feel the tension of o level nearing yet not ready to battle. especially when koh ask me why my maths so weak? there is this particular feeling came back.fear&suspicious! it is exactly the same feeling i had after p5 mid yr exam.tt when my maths result nv good b4 is it a sign hinting me i will nv be able to do well again? nonsense!yet clueless what shud i do to help myself.practice practice practice seem helpless. what wrong with me exactly?can anyone tell me? i believe there is nothing wrong with myself.i did put in effort yet result not shown. pressure&stress sure have but i dun believe it will pull my grade down. i seriously dun want to drop Amaths.my Amaths has alwae been better than Emaths.. i very afraid to face mr koh but most frightening thing is he would ask me drop. i dunno if he ever do tt...will i be able to take that blow? question myself so may times yet no answer came to me... seeking "consultants" yet all sae nth will happen everything will be fine. stupid?lazy?dumb?idiot?failure? i will think abt it but i already try very hard le...underperforming is not an EXCUSE! perhap after this i will be fine ba.
-huiihuii-
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